Now that I’m roughly half way through my trip I’ve decided to write something a little different in this post. When I originally planned to go away at the beginning of last summer I had few expectations. I was simply in need of a long holiday from work to re-energise myself. I had few aspirations beyond parking myself up on a beach somewhere, perhaps in Thailand and doing very little for as long as I felt I needed to and then come back to London to pick up my career from where I’d left off. I didn’t even have much of a desire to experience new countries and cultures, as much as I normally find this interesting. It wasn’t meant to be a journey of personal discovery either. I didn’t feel like I needed to “find myself”. I just needed a break.
It did however always feel like this was somehow the right time to take such a break. A number of external factors had neatly aligned themselves to make this trip as easy as possible. There always seemed to be little pieces of luck when arranging my affairs for example. Also when I spoke to friends and family, I rarely had any other reaction other than extremely positive. Even my Mum was overwhelming enthusiastic despite, like all mums, sad that she wouldn’t see her son for some time. It’s always felt like this trip was meant to be and that feeling only grew stronger as I got closer to my leaving date.
However by the time I left the UK the trip had already morphed into something quite different. I certainly didn’t expect to be in a relationship by the time I left and that obviously led to some dramatic changes in my plans. India wasn’t even on my radar, until I started seeing Maren in the middle of July last year. She was leaving in October to take 6 months out from work as well and it wasn’t long before we were talking about how we were going to meet up. However both of us had made commitments to work and I’d already booked my flight to Australia in December. Whilst neither of us wanted to be apart for a couple of months, it again felt like the right thing to stick to our own plans and we planned to meet in India just before the New Year. The trip was now going to be a shared experience with someone who I’d quickly fallen in love with.
This alone has made the trip a truly amazing experience. Despite my best efforts it always seems impossible to prevent my posts turning into some melodramatic cheese-fest because of the way I’ve been feeling. That is what love does to you. I’d not normally consider myself a romantic, but so much of our time together has been so perfect it’s hard not to get carried away. However primarily this blog is for me. I wanted to capture my thoughts and feelings so I don’t want to censor what I write. All I can say is that if you were witness actual events and conversations I can assure you that you’d be reaching for your sick bucket even more regularly!
Besides, one of the things that I have realised whilst I’ve been away is that I am cheesy and that’s not the only thing I have realised. Whilst I said this wasn’t meant to be a journey of personal discovery it has been one all the same. I’ve learnt a surprising amount about myself, and that is in no small part thanks to Maren. I’ve never been more myself as I am around her. The other big factor is simply the sheer amount of time I’ve had to reflect. Initially when I left the UK I was happy to do nothing more than chill out and during the first few weeks of my trip on the beaches of Goa I did exactly that.
But increasingly as weeks have become months I’ve found myself reflecting on all sorts of aspects of my life and the life I want to make with Maren when I get back to UK. Before I left the UK one of the things that I said repeatedly was that I was already excited about coming home because break would enforce a change in job and I’d also decided that I wouldn’t move back into my flat on returning. However, inspired by our experiences and our conversations we both have started to think bigger about what we might be able to do when we return. To be truly happy with my life I know that I need to do something that I believe has a real benefit to people for it to be truly rewarding. Whilst I’ve never taken jobs purely for their financial reward, I also never worried too much about the product or service I’m helping to create. In the past my reward has been professional, measuring my achievement personally or in relation to the expectations those I have worked with and for. But I’ve taken professional passion as far as I can, so I’m looking for something more meaningful than building websites for companies that sell holidays, mobile phones or TV subscriptions. That might be easier said than done when the realities of having to pay the bills hit home on my return, but right now I am excited. I am a bundle of energy, almost unable to relax as I think of what might be possible. I am anxious to get started on whatever it is we will end up doing. I can’t wait to start bouncing ideas off all the talented we know.
However, it’s not time to return just yet. We both still feel we have a date with destiny in the north of India. Something is calling to us there. Perhaps it’s just to make good on our promise to see Sky and his visit him in his new restaurant or maybe it’s something deeper. Either way we are determined to go back so during our last few days in the Perhentians we put together the last part of our plans. We planned to make an arc around countries north of Malaysia, starting with Thailand. Once over the border we planned to take a bus straight to the capital, Bangkok.
One last thing before I go, it will soon be my birthday and some of you would normally be buying me a present or a drink at the bar. However, since I won’t be around this year I’d like to ask you to consider sponsoring my good friend Damo in his attempt to run the London marathon. Check out the link below for details about the cause and to make a donation. Anything you can give will be gratefully received.
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